Can somebody have a life crisis at just 26 years old?

Long story short, back in my hometown I’ve never felt like I belonged there. I’ve always felt like something was missing, probably it was the fact that I’ve never truly done something for myself and myself only.

Then I decided to run away from those responsibilities and problems that a 20 years old can have and I moved to another country, where the language was a bigger barrier that I thought it would be. Even if English as always been my favourite subject back in high school (and the only year of university that I did), I was used to American accent (because of movies and tv shows) not about British accent. (Very big difference)
Anyway I overcome that language barrier and I made some of the best friends that I could ever met. Some of them I lost them in time, others stick around longer.
But the thing is, I was 21 and I felt like I was living! Even through heartbreaks and fights, through tick and thin, I had the best time of my life till I was 23. That year I felt like my all world went through a big black hole and it took me longer than I thought to recover. But I did.

Then I focus all my energy in a work that, at the end, consumed me and made me become somebody I wasn’t. So I had to change that. 

During that time, while I was trying to recover, I tried to focus on my future (I was 24 back then) and I saw all my dream shuttering down in small pieces that still, til now, I couldn’t/can’t recover.

My only big dream is secure in a locker of my mind and I have no idea where I put the key.
But now I am 26 and after almost 5 years that I took that big jump in my life, I feel like I have no clue what my life should be. 
And I know mainly the problem is that I’ve abandoned my big dream, plus you see all those people that you grew with, that seems to have life figure out somehow, or at least they have SOMETHING!!! 
And I am well aware that if you want something for yourself, you have to work your ass off. 

I do know that.

Trust me, I do more than a lot of people think.

But how do you come back to want to pursue a dream when you are closer to 30 and people will think that you will have your life figure out by then? I mean, I know in 4 year a lot can change. I believe in a minute a lot can change.

But at the end of the day, I am at a loss.

So I have to promise to myself that I don’t have to wait “the new year” that something can change now, right?
So my question is: is it possible to have a mid-mid-life crisis?

Francesca

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Taylor Swift feat Zayn Malik: I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

YOU, YES I AM TALKING TO YOU. STOP WHATEVER YOU DOING.

TAYLOR IS BACK WITH A NEW SONG. OMG.

It’s a totally different sound but I like it, it’s for the movie “Fifty Shades Darker”, she wrote the song with Sam Dew and collaborated with Zayn Malik. The song was produced by Jack Antonoff like mostly everything from Taylor.

It took one week to produce this song as Jack let us know via twitter, Zayn sent his record parts from LA and then they produced it together in one day I think, cause Zayn posted a pic on Instagram were Taylor has a dress that we saw already back in September when they were spotted together with Gigi Hadid.

This is the link for iTunes, go buy it for your Friday night:

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/i-dont-wanna-live-forever/id1184762720

Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls
(Hoping you’d call)
It’s just a cruel existence like there’s no point hoping at all…

Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day
Give me something, oh, but you say nothing
What is happening to me?

I don’t wanna live forever, ’cause I know I’ll be living in vain
And I don’t wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home!

I’m sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind
Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life

Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day
I gave you something, but you gave me nothing
What is happening to me?

I don’t wanna live forever, ’cause I know I’ll be living in vain
And I don’t wanna fit (fit, babe) wherever (wherever)
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places
Baby, baby, I feel crazy
I see you around in all these empty faces
All night, all night and every day
I’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places
Give me something, oh, but you say nothing
Now I’m in a cab, I tell ’em where your place is
What is happening to me?

I don’t wanna live forever, ’cause I know I’ll be living in vain
And I don’t wanna fit wherever…

I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
Until you come back home…

 

Enjoy..

Francesca

 

ThePerksOfTravelling: Week3

Honestly, not much happened this week. I’ve cleaned my phone and deleted more than 4000 pictures!!!!

I’ve did a lot of shopping online tho, I’ve bought a pair of over the knee boots from Zara, a back pack from ASOS and a coat from Stradivarius.

Plus, I sent the present for my dad’s bday that he is not expecting at all. That will be a nice surprise for him, I hope.

For the rest, I’ve worked like crazy (and for that I mean, I’ve got crazy at work!), we finally have the red cups and I’ve found out that they were designed by customers and there is one that I really like with a reindeer. Always talking about work, I am so boring. LOL

Fun fact: I’ve deleted my ex from FB after 3 years. Not that I cared or was stalking him at all, at the beginning was a pride kinda thing but then was a thing more like “you are invisible to me, whatever”.

And then on Wednesday, the election happened and it affected me, a lot. I wrote something about it back on Thursday if you wanna go check it out.

I woke up on Thursday with two texts from two friends “Trump won” and I was like “Am I still sleeping? Is this a nightmare?”. We did such a good progress on empowering women and diversity and equality, and it brought us where? At this awful point? I can’t believe it.

Then working all weekend again,

Francesca

Michael Bublè left a statement about his son Noah: he has a liver cancer

It was Friday, I opened Facebook and as a first thing, there was this awful news: Michael Bublè’s three years old son has been diagnosed with cancer.

And it hit me so badly. I can’t imagine as a parent what they can be going through right now but it’s heartbreaking.

This is not talking about fame or talking about popularity, here is talking about how awful this disease is.

I was reading through comments and someone posted that this awful disease should be sent, if we had the power, only to rapist or killers.

A poor 3 years old child doesn’t have to go through this. I’ve lived this diseases in my family and I saw how it destroys one person or how it completely happens randomly and it takes you forever.

I wish the best, all my thoughts are with his family and with all the families or people that are going through this now.

I loved Michael Bublè since forever, he always brought me so much joy and happiness in my life that I just want to use my thoughts to wish the little Noah the best. And to Luisana, be strong, you’ll get through this.

I really appreciated that they took the time to just write a simple post on their both Facebook pages just to let know fans about it.

Plus, this week they let us know that the poor little Noah has a liver cancer and he is already going through chemio, even if doctors says that kids are stronger to get through chemio, I still send all my good thoughts to them.

Dear Bublè family,

your fans are with you through this awful period. We send you tons of love and strength. And to the little Noah, we are with you, you may not understand truly what it is happening but you will be super strong and come back to play like other kids.

Best,

Francesca

Michael and Luisana confirm son Noah’s illness:

“We are devastated about the recent cancer diagnosis of our oldest son Noah who is currently undergoing treatment in the US. We have always been very vocal about the importance of family and the love we have for our children. Luisana and I have put our careers on hold in order to devote all our time and attention to helping Noah get well. At this difficult time, we ask only for your prayers and respect for our privacy. We have a long journey in front of us and hope that with the support of family, friends and fans around the world, we will win this battle, God willing.”

Music Monday: November playlist

Another music Monday playlist:

  • This is the new year – A great big world
  • Better Days – Goo Goo Dolls
  • My Way – Calvin Harris
  • Shout out to my ex – Little Mix
  • Superman – Taylor Swift
  • Tattoo – Hilary Duff
  • Torn – Natalie Imbruglia
  • Have a Little Faith In Me – Bon Jovi feat Lea Michele

These are the songs of the week, enjoy people.
Hope this week will bring you a lot of experiences,

Francesca

Challenging myself: Drawing.

It was back in August I think, when I saw a post about this young girl drawing Taylor Swift. And her drawing was amazing and the thing is that she actually can create exact replicas of her dresses (like get me one already!). Then one of my friends decided to start drawing Lea Michele and she was/is still good with it that I was like “should I try?”

And I did. Still learning, still trying. But with the advantage of technology, we barely use paper and a pencil and I wanted to challenge myself.img_6463

So first I tried to draw a look from my favourite actress/singer ever: Bethany Joy Lenz. She has been my inspiration since forever, so I wanted to try to draw her first. It’s not the greatest but if you never try, you never know right?

I posted it on twitter and one of the best pages about her told me that they found it really good. That was nice of the girl that wrote it. Sometimes you just need a little compliment to lift you up.

fullsizerenderAnd then I tried to do Taylor’s outfit from a day out with her mum. And I am really proud of the hair, they came out really Taylor-ish.
For this one, I’ve worked on it for a few days, and I had a problem with colouring the top that Taylor was wearing but pretty much, as a second drawing, not that bad.

Anyway, I have much more ideas, I have to challenge myself somehow. Hope you’ll like it.

Best,

Francesca

Special Edition: 4 years in London

On the 15th October of 2012, I’ve taken a plane without knowing what I’d expect from my life after I’d have landed. Well, here I am after 4 years thinking about which good things happened to me, while in the meantime, people that surround me, seems to have it all figure it out.

The first year: I gave my heart to someone without thinking about any consequences. And even if that person wasn’t feeling the same way towards me, still I don’t regret it. Cause it made me feel alive more than I’ve ever been. And I met friends that would stay with me forever, I know if I need them they’ll be there and vice-versa

The second year: I fell in love, or at least I think I was. I had my first boyfriend for two long months where we were seeing each other every day. So it seemed more than 2 months. I thought I had everything that I needed in life.

The third year: I had my first really bad heartbreak following depression. Because one bad thing was happening after another one, it was like a chain. And you know when they say “you truly know who your good friends are when you need them the most”? Well, that’s so true. That year I’ve lost friends and myself. And at the same time, I found myself and got back together and started a new life.

Fourth year: God, focusing on myself too much made me close myself into a little FraBubble. Nobody pop it yet, I’ve been trying from inside to pop it but..nope. And they’ve been trying from outside but..nope.

I guess when you see all your friends that seem to have it figure out it’s a bit hard to you. Or just that they don’t take life so seriously.

Let’s do a pro/con list (like Rory Gilmore would do) :

PRO:

  • I was 21 and I left my family to go live by myself
  • I can provide food and shoes to myself
  • I can do all different jobs and pretty good most of the time
  • People still come to me for pieces of advice
  • My parents seem to be proud of me
  • I’ve made so many friends from all around the world
  • I’ve had my first boyfriend (YES late bloomer whatever)
  • I’ve had more experience that I could have done if I’d have stayed
  • I am and independent woman that doesn’t need to depend on anyone
  • I make my own decisions and take risks when I know I have to
  • I’ve tried more than anything to be close to my family and friends when I had to
  • I am honest, way too honest and I learned that sometimes people don’t take that honesty.
  • I’ve fulfilled some of my biggest dreams: meet OTH cast, see Taylor Swift live, go to LA.
  • I’ve grown up more than I’d thought I would
  • Cherish the friendship that latest all 4 years and growth every year more

CON:

  • I feel like I’ve lost more than I gained
  • I’ve got into depression twice
  • I felt like shit about myself because of the voices outside (people) and inside my head
  • I’ve closed myself in a little bubble that’s really comforting and nobody can get in
  • No love of my life
  • No job of my life
  • No life at all, living like a granny (sleep 21:30 wake up 4:30)
  • Feeling lonely sometimes
  • Feeling like no one understands what I am going through
  • Losing myself
  • BAD LUCK

At the end, I guess I’d have to focus more on the journey rather than on the end of it or how it started.