Long story short, back in my hometown I’ve never felt like I belonged there. I’ve always felt like something was missing, probably it was the fact that I’ve never truly done something for myself and myself only.
Then I decided to run away from those responsibilities and problems that a 20 years old can have and I moved to another country, where the language was a bigger barrier that I thought it would be. Even if English as always been my favourite subject back in high school (and the only year of university that I did), I was used to American accent (because of movies and tv shows) not about British accent. (Very big difference)
Anyway I overcome that language barrier and I made some of the best friends that I could ever met. Some of them I lost them in time, others stick around longer.
But the thing is, I was 21 and I felt like I was living! Even through heartbreaks and fights, through tick and thin, I had the best time of my life till I was 23. That year I felt like my all world went through a big black hole and it took me longer than I thought to recover. But I did.
Then I focus all my energy in a work that, at the end, consumed me and made me become somebody I wasn’t. So I had to change that.
During that time, while I was trying to recover, I tried to focus on my future (I was 24 back then) and I saw all my dream shuttering down in small pieces that still, til now, I couldn’t/can’t recover.
My only big dream is secure in a locker of my mind and I have no idea where I put the key.
But now I am 26 and after almost 5 years that I took that big jump in my life, I feel like I have no clue what my life should be.
And I know mainly the problem is that I’ve abandoned my big dream, plus you see all those people that you grew with, that seems to have life figure out somehow, or at least they have SOMETHING!!!
And I am well aware that if you want something for yourself, you have to work your ass off.
I do know that.
Trust me, I do more than a lot of people think.
But how do you come back to want to pursue a dream when you are closer to 30 and people will think that you will have your life figure out by then? I mean, I know in 4 year a lot can change. I believe in a minute a lot can change.
But at the end of the day, I am at a loss.
So I have to promise to myself that I don’t have to wait “the new year” that something can change now, right?
So my question is: is it possible to have a mid-mid-life crisis?