Can somebody have a life crisis at just 26 years old?

Long story short, back in my hometown I’ve never felt like I belonged there. I’ve always felt like something was missing, probably it was the fact that I’ve never truly done something for myself and myself only.

Then I decided to run away from those responsibilities and problems that a 20 years old can have and I moved to another country, where the language was a bigger barrier that I thought it would be. Even if English as always been my favourite subject back in high school (and the only year of university that I did), I was used to American accent (because of movies and tv shows) not about British accent. (Very big difference)
Anyway I overcome that language barrier and I made some of the best friends that I could ever met. Some of them I lost them in time, others stick around longer.
But the thing is, I was 21 and I felt like I was living! Even through heartbreaks and fights, through tick and thin, I had the best time of my life till I was 23. That year I felt like my all world went through a big black hole and it took me longer than I thought to recover. But I did.

Then I focus all my energy in a work that, at the end, consumed me and made me become somebody I wasn’t. So I had to change that. 

During that time, while I was trying to recover, I tried to focus on my future (I was 24 back then) and I saw all my dream shuttering down in small pieces that still, til now, I couldn’t/can’t recover.

My only big dream is secure in a locker of my mind and I have no idea where I put the key.
But now I am 26 and after almost 5 years that I took that big jump in my life, I feel like I have no clue what my life should be. 
And I know mainly the problem is that I’ve abandoned my big dream, plus you see all those people that you grew with, that seems to have life figure out somehow, or at least they have SOMETHING!!! 
And I am well aware that if you want something for yourself, you have to work your ass off. 

I do know that.

Trust me, I do more than a lot of people think.

But how do you come back to want to pursue a dream when you are closer to 30 and people will think that you will have your life figure out by then? I mean, I know in 4 year a lot can change. I believe in a minute a lot can change.

But at the end of the day, I am at a loss.

So I have to promise to myself that I don’t have to wait “the new year” that something can change now, right?
So my question is: is it possible to have a mid-mid-life crisis?

Francesca

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Why “A walk to remember” is my favourite movie ever?

Let’s talk about “A Walk To Remember”: for who lived under a rock in the past 12 years, AWTR is the movie about two teenagers falling in love even when they thought it would be impossible since they are really different from each other. Jamie is the daughter of the reverend9d123718ecfcaa16e4af1beaa42901a9 and Landon is the cool kid at school that hang outs only with cool kids. After he drunk some beers at school, the head of the school decided that to make it up of what he did, he had to be a part of the school play. In there, Landon’s journey starts, he get closer to Jamie that tell him that she would have helped him only if he would not fall in love with her (one of the best scene in the movie!). He’s so sure that it won’t happen because he is the rebel guy that won’t fall in love with the good girl. But of course, it happens and as much as she wants to be with him too, she try to fight it, for a bigger secret that she is keeping from him and everybody. Suddenly, she decides to give up on fighting and fell in love with him too.

“Jamie: How can you see places like this… and have moments like this and not believe? Landon: You’re lucky to be so sure. Jamie: It’s like the wind. I can’t… see it, but I feel it.”

After Jamie had a talk with his father, she decides that it’s not fair to keep Landon in the dark. So she revealed her secret to him.

Jamie: I’m sick. Landon: I’ll take you home. You’ll be be… Jamie: No. Landon! I’m sick. I have Leukemia. Landon: No. You’re 18. You – you’re perfect. Jamie: No. I found out two years ago and I’ve stopped responding to treatments. Landon: So why didn’t you tell me?

And that’s where the movie takes another direction, you see how the cool kid is actually really fragile, he wants to have, so much, a relantioship with the father that abandon him and his mother. Even if he is angry to him, a lot, he gives up all the anger when he needs his dad the most. One of my favourite scene is when Landon is in the car and he’s driving back home and he just starts to cry. Oh my. that scene makes me bawl. Jamie, from the other side, doesn’t want to ruin Landon’s life because of her sickness but he just shows, in many ways, how much he loves her, and she is living her last months, in the best ways that she can. (Spoiler alert if you didn’t see the movie!)

Landon: Do you love me? [she nods] Landon: Will you do something for me, then? Jamie: [smiles] Anything. Landon: Will you marry me? [Jamie smiles and kisses him]

That’s it. Who didn’t cry at this scene? His way to say that, makes you believe that there has to be someone like that outside in the world.

Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I’ll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.but-our-love-is-like-the-wind-i-cant-see-it-but-i-can-feel-it_1249

[END SPOILER!]

And the rest is history..or in the music video “Cry” by Mandy Moore

“A walk to remember” is the drama movie based on the best seller novel of Nicholas Spark, or like I call it “the book that I read in one day”. I am, of course, a big fan of Nicholas Sparks, I’ve saw all the movies from his books, and almost read all his books. Then, Adam Shankman, is one of my favourite director, and I love his way of changing loads from the book, but make anyway and amazing movie with the same message that gives the book. Jamie Sullivan doesn’t care about what people says about her, she is herself and believes in what she want to believe, no matter how bad people talk about her. Landon Carter, from the other side, he starts as the bad boy of the situation, but, thanks to Jamie, he sees life from a different view, from Jamie’s view.

The best thing of the movie is that he wants to make all her wishes come true even before he knows that she has cancer. I mean, that’s what every single men should understand. And even if he was young and he had a full life in front of him, he decides to make her first wish, come true.

This movie is my favorite movie ever. You know why? It makes me feel good, it makes me cry a lot, every single time, even if I’ve watched a thousand times, even when I’ll rematch it again, every single time. But, for somebody that kinda gave up on love, a few times, it just takes me an 98 minutes, to believe in love again and hope that there is someone out there for me too, that would make me feel like Landon makes feel Jamie. It might be silly, and sometimes is easier to give up on love, but at the end, how can you feel alive more than this?tumblr_lxg5shhRcO1r5s00a

Mandy Moore and Shane West played perfectly the two characters of the movie that I love more than any others. My favourite movie ever.

Adam Shankman chose the perfect soundtrack too. I’ve never, ever, ever, watch a movie with better soundtrack than this one: Mandy Moore (Only Hope, Cry, Someday We’ll Know, It’s Gonna be Love), Switchfoot (Only Hope, You, Dare you to Move), Cold (No one), Rachael Lampa (If you believe) and more.

To all those people that didn’t watch the movie, watch it now. I’ve made my sister watch it and loads of other people and everybody told me that it was too sad for them. Well, just watch it. It’s worth it.

Love,

Francesca