Special Edition: 4 years in London

On the 15th October of 2012, I’ve taken a plane without knowing what I’d expect from my life after I’d have landed. Well, here I am after 4 years thinking about which good things happened to me, while in the meantime, people that surround me, seems to have it all figure it out.

The first year: I gave my heart to someone without thinking about any consequences. And even if that person wasn’t feeling the same way towards me, still I don’t regret it. Cause it made me feel alive more than I’ve ever been. And I met friends that would stay with me forever, I know if I need them they’ll be there and vice-versa

The second year: I fell in love, or at least I think I was. I had my first boyfriend for two long months where we were seeing each other every day. So it seemed more than 2 months. I thought I had everything that I needed in life.

The third year: I had my first really bad heartbreak following depression. Because one bad thing was happening after another one, it was like a chain. And you know when they say “you truly know who your good friends are when you need them the most”? Well, that’s so true. That year I’ve lost friends and myself. And at the same time, I found myself and got back together and started a new life.

Fourth year: God, focusing on myself too much made me close myself into a little FraBubble. Nobody pop it yet, I’ve been trying from inside to pop it but..nope. And they’ve been trying from outside but..nope.

I guess when you see all your friends that seem to have it figure out it’s a bit hard to you. Or just that they don’t take life so seriously.

Let’s do a pro/con list (like Rory Gilmore would do) :

PRO:

  • I was 21 and I left my family to go live by myself
  • I can provide food and shoes to myself
  • I can do all different jobs and pretty good most of the time
  • People still come to me for pieces of advice
  • My parents seem to be proud of me
  • I’ve made so many friends from all around the world
  • I’ve had my first boyfriend (YES late bloomer whatever)
  • I’ve had more experience that I could have done if I’d have stayed
  • I am and independent woman that doesn’t need to depend on anyone
  • I make my own decisions and take risks when I know I have to
  • I’ve tried more than anything to be close to my family and friends when I had to
  • I am honest, way too honest and I learned that sometimes people don’t take that honesty.
  • I’ve fulfilled some of my biggest dreams: meet OTH cast, see Taylor Swift live, go to LA.
  • I’ve grown up more than I’d thought I would
  • Cherish the friendship that latest all 4 years and growth every year more

CON:

  • I feel like I’ve lost more than I gained
  • I’ve got into depression twice
  • I felt like shit about myself because of the voices outside (people) and inside my head
  • I’ve closed myself in a little bubble that’s really comforting and nobody can get in
  • No love of my life
  • No job of my life
  • No life at all, living like a granny (sleep 21:30 wake up 4:30)
  • Feeling lonely sometimes
  • Feeling like no one understands what I am going through
  • Losing myself
  • BAD LUCK

At the end, I guess I’d have to focus more on the journey rather than on the end of it or how it started.

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