I really think that there is something magic in December because every thing seems in the right place.
I feel actually good about a lot of things in my life right now. I don’t care if I don’t have a boyfriend, I feel like I am not ready to get that emotional yet.
Instead, I found out that I can’t get along with old friends, don’t know why, I am trying to work on that because I don’t wanna lose them but from the other point, some of them still does a life that I don’t wanna do anymore or they look at me with pity eyes or they push me to be happy if I am not.
And then there are the new friends or the ones that have been next to me since forever and I kind of find peace with them, peace with myself, happiness. Because they don’t push me to do anything that I don’t wanna do. And the new ones, they actually kind of listen to my experience and don’t judge.
December seems already my favorite month of the year. Still, we are the beginning of it so I am always aware that something could come up but even the projects that I have in the next weeks or for the new year, they make me wanna look forward and be strong again and leave this year behind me.
I think this is the thing that keeps me going on, how easy I find hope in something that goes to another one and then it’s just a long chain that keeps me walk and fight. Even when I had a year like this that I’d never imagine will turn with this much hope in the new one that is coming.
Take me for a silly, stupid person that believes that everything will turn okay eventually, but I can’t help myself sometimes. I just keep feeling too much. That, i guess, makes me human.
I’ve had the phase of not feeling anything and not even bother to. And trust me, I couldn’t even imagine to be like that. It’s been awful and I still didn’t fully recover, but I think it’s okay for me to feel good, right?
I will always work on myself and my weird character but hey, my mum is stubborn and my dad is the most calm person alive. So imagine two opposite characters like this in one person. So you have me.
There is really something magic in December.